Surrender

I must admit that perhaps I've been a bit childish recently rather than expressing the child-likeness which I had hoped for myself to have. To work so hard with all your might and pray so hard to God about your quizzes and assessments only to find disappointment with the way things have gone. Really wished that I could just go into solitude at that point of time and cry out my "Why?s" to God. Unfortunately there was CG.

To think that I recently even spoke of compartmentalizing one's emotions to serve God and yet I just couldn't help myself to walk my talk. I have to say that praise was simply TERRIBLE. Not because of anything else but the guitarist. Very thankful though that my CG was really loving, still praising God, focussing on God rather than the bad music. Interestingly many of us started flipping our bibles during free worship looking for verses (thankfully not to rebuke the guitarist), and after worship there was a reality check and sharing of thoughts/lives followed by verses of encouragement from God. 

SiHui then started to teach on sharing our faith to others. Having first the right heart (what is your motive?), the right mind (what do you know?) and lastly the equipped hands (how?). As the teaching progressed, I reflected upon my heart, my thoughts and what I've been doing. It dawned upon me why I had felt this way. Pride. Erk is the word. Too many times I've tried too much on my own to try and be 'generous' by working well at something and giving that credit to God. It's not about doing it in our own strength, it's not doing it with God backing us up every step of the way, it's not even about doing it with God beside you giving His endless support. Sure, these things can take place but is it for the best? It's about surrender. Total surrender. Absolute surrender. Letting go and letting God take the wheel to lead us in the doing. Sure, there is a partnership. But compared with the latter, you're certain in your heart that it's all about God and not the slightest bit about you - at all.

Words have always been hanging around our mouths and flowing within our heads. But it's just not enough. We need it to sink deep into our hearts. I think if not for CG, I would still have been emo-ing through the night. Fortunately, there was CG. :) I love my CG. :)

Reminder: Total surrender. Absolute surrender. (To God of course)

Zechariah 4:6

6 So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

1 Corinthians 2:2-5

2For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 3I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. 4My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, 5so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.