Forgive & Forget?

I don't know how to express this but I'm seriously quite angry when my mom started sharing about this. It started with my Dad asking my sis to help give tuition to my cousin. As it was the paternal side of the family that she was asked to help out hence my mom strongly begged her to think thrice about taking up this offer. Apparently there was quite a bit of family politics within the paternal side of the family. I think that was still rather alright. No problems. I can take that. They seem to be rather ungrateful towards how my dad has always provided help for them. I can take that. But came the shocking news.

I was supposed to have a pair of younger twin sisters! Yes! You heard me! Supposed to! Why? Because they were stillborn! Cause of death? Well, this answer still remains a question mark to this day. Apparently my mom (being such a cute but 'gong' mom) doesn't know. Perhaps when there's time, I'll conduct my own investigation. But well, the story goes like this that it was my aunt on the paternal side who reccommended my mom to see the doctor at a measly clinic when she's like feeling pain in the abdomen during her 8th month of pregnancy... YES! You heard me! Like WHAT? For a lady who is 8 months pregnant and feeling pain in the abdomen, instead of bringing my mom to the hospital they brought my mom to a measly CLINIC??? Like what is this? Are you being stupid or just being a big fat moron? And when my twin sisters were born, my grandma actually managed to choke this out from her mouth in an aboslutely non-sympathetic tone "With that, we don't need to hire 2 maids to help look after 4 kids in the family." (translated)

That is not all. Apparently my grandma turns out to be some evil woman. When my mom was pregnant with my elder sister, she kinda still made my mom work with a big tummy. (I heard it was the same when my mom was carrying me) And the best of all this is that when my mom's water bag burst, my grandma said it's ok. That there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG!!! So my mom continued helping out with the work until the next day morning. Like WHAT THE HECK RIGHT??? I mean my sister could have died inside my mom's womb and I might just end up with one less sibling. My sis could have had received some disfunctions from the delayed delivery as well. But thank God she didn't. But seriously... Seriously... SERIOUSLY....

I really love my mom a lot. Especially how after all the bad stuff she has been put through and the treachery of all the skepticism of the relatives from my paternal family she still persevered on to keep this family intact just because she wants us (my elder sister, my younger brother and myself) to have a complete family. That is why I want to do all that I can to win her to Christ and really protect her from further harm. She is a really really really noble mom. Love you lots mom! ^^

Lastly, before I end off this post, I just wanna say this. God, I need more of your love and compassion for these people. I'm slowly turning skeptical towards these people and I really feel that in order to protect my mom from them I might have to retaliate. But I know that's not God's way of doing things. So pls help open my eyes and see things through Your eyes. :)