God's Best For My Best

Today is a rather interesting day. I must confess a truth. I didn't exactly spend the first half of my day that well with God. In fact it was pretty much all by myself. So much that I even forgot all about the fact that I was suppose to confirm with my cousin on his availability to bring him to church! (Gosh! Can you believe that???) Sucks right?

I must say that I really seeked God with all my might, mind, soul and strength when I realised the truth; which is I haven't started my day with God. I desperately prayed and prayed in my heart for God to fill me with his presence and guide me through every step of the way because I know deep in my heart that I cannot do much without Him.

Interestingly the worship was pretty good and ministering. Well, at least to me. Hahaha. Coz I truly am desperate for You and I am so so so lost without You.

Today's sermon was really great. That's what I think. Not so much about the "Oh yeah! My CG members will have to be nice and treat me well now." but more of the "Ok! I must bless my leaders!" and "Yes! I need to grow to be a better leader!". I confess that the weight and responsibilities of leadership are truly pretty heavy for me and it is really not an easy thing for me. But who says it's gonna be easy? Hahaha. If things were really gonna be that easy, why would we need God? Agree?

"Leaders! This is for you! Lead your members justly! Do so without any prejudice and partiality but based on the principles of the Word!"

When Pastor Jeff exclaimed this, the first thing I did was to reflect upon myself. I know that I used to be such a person in the past. To a certain extent biased and showing partiality but that was the past. I'm not certain about now though. That's why I had to think through and reflect upon my actions. This was followed by a mind blowing phrase of "May my heart break to that which breaks the heart of God". When Pastor Jeff said that, I really exclaimed in my heart "YES! GOD YES! This is my prayer in my heart!" I really truly want to be (not just a better leader but more importantly) a man after God's very own heart. Really. I do have people coming up to me saying that I'm very nice (thank you for the affirmations) and such but truthfully speaking, I'm still only human. The love and care that I've always shown, it is not from me. But it is the love of God flowing out of me. I always believe this; that I cannot love people with my kind of love but I need to love others with God's love for His love is the love that never fails. Of course this kind of love can only come when you truly understand God's heartbeat; for true love is God and God is love. :)

When Kat came back from the recent Thai Camp, she brought back God's Word for the Tertiary Service; to "Flow with the Spirit". I think this is really powerful. Really. Because after the service, I just felt like I needed to speak into some people's lives and especially make a covenant with my CG. It was (like the Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day) pretty last minute. However, this is not just some spontaneous idea but it really was something that (I believe) the Holy Spirit prompted me in doing so. And so to all my CG members, I would like to affirm my covenant with all you guys.

This is my covenant to all of you: That God be the witness to see that I will give my very best to lead all of you justly, without prejudice and partiality. That I will do my best to teach all of you the Word and help all of you to fall into a deeper love with His Word. That I will give my best to grow myself too so that I am able to lead all of you deeper into God's presence as well. And if there is anything that you think I need to grow in, correct me pls. For if it is a misunderstanding, let's clarify or if it's really something I need to grow in, correct me and help me to grow then. :)

My life is not my own. God's best for my best. And all that, because He truly truly deserves it. Enough has been said. It is time. Talk is cheap, action is deep. I shall be a do-er of God's Word. So hold me accountable people! Love you all lots!!! ^^